1. Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.
2. A termite walks into a bar room and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
3. "Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
4. What's brown and sticky? A stick.
5. Why are proctologists so gloomy?
They always have the end in sight.
6. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic.
7. What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.
8. What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him out for a drag.
9. Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
10. Famous last words of a mafia hitman: "Who put the violin in the violin case?"
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